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[12 Dec 2005|05:43pm] |
yah me and KLaudia are friends again, at least i think?
Cousino is really started to kill me, and the people are
really starting to kill me, i cant get over how much
non sense goes on, its ridiculous. And how one minute
you can say this, then the next you take it all back hmm.
Anways good solid weekend, friday game with D Bom, and
if it wasnt for my sweet ass directions we would have
never found Launse Cruese. And #24 on their team is a
fucking hottie, but really he was only a sophomore.
Saturday--shittt worked till 3 and brought Nana lunch.
we talked for a long time, then came home and Andreas
skank ass came over, and bugged me the whole time.
"Stick Rock." "i know what you want for Christmas..."
" Me under your treee"..then lays there. I was dyyiiin.
She came to my soccer game, and i am horrible and really
suck some hard call ball sack. Then i came home showered,
got ready and we went ice skate =) anddd im horrible.
Like honestly i suck so bad, i fell like 3 times and
the 3rd time i fell it was because diana tripped my ass,
then dianas love Cody rushed to pick my ass up, it
was deffinitly up their on top 10 most embarressing moments
#1 being the time my mom picked my drunk ass up at klaudias.
After ice skating, we went to Asshes? i dunno, hotel party,
and it was funny actually, he was cracking me uppp.
I saw danielle hatfield at a hotel party across the street,
and she is doing good, and is adorable. Dropped all the
sluts off and went home and crasssshed.
I worked on Sunday and went to the Hensons for a few.
Shiiiiitt snowboarding the 22nd. All day long bitches.
Its about to be the most intense shit everrrrr.
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[03 Dec 2005|11:45pm] |
is there anything worth waiting for
is there anything worth living for?
shout disaster in a fresh new coma.
Ive been listening to dashbored all weekend.
So im basically a FUCK UP.
everything i do sucks.
anyone i try to have a good
realtionship fails, so yepp
im a straight up fagg.
Did i mention i dont have friends anymore?
or the fact that its the first saturday night
that ive been home at 9 since i was 12.
did i fail to mention again,
that ive given up on myself?
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[18 Nov 2005|03:52pm] |
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I dont drink
I dont smoke.
I dont do drugs.
People say im gay for this?
But really..straight fuck em :)
P.S. My Girrrls, are fucking awesome im glad i got some T.R.U.E. friends, cause their is too much dumb shit going on brohs.
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[13 Nov 2005|08:02pm] |
Last night-- made me sad, i wanted to say something but i didnt.
Things have changed so very much, even since the summertime.
&& honestly, its not even good change anymore, its wierd change.
I barely see some best friends anymore, at all.
And i mean, i know the circumstances, but its never stopped us before.
Also, now that my one friend has a boyfriend again, im scared
its about to be the same old thing, only this time, I have no one
to run too, and spend all my time with cause their doing their own thing.
Brooke reassures me that things will be okay and its just chill right now.
But for some reason this all feels bad, i feel bad about everything.
I dont want to feel sorry for myself, because thats just gay.
But for the first time i feel as if i have hardly any friends.
I am lost, with no where to go. And its just not a good feeling.
...my nana put her moving sign up =(
...i love my mom more then life.
...i really sound pathetic right now.
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[11 Nov 2005|11:48pm] |
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Ive finally came to the conclusion, i have no friends.
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[05 Nov 2005|02:53pm] |
When one bad thing happens, a million bad things happen.
It was the WORST possible morning, and i found out things
that seriously made me sick in the stomach and i cried.
I cried every tear that i had in body, and im still crying.
...i dont know what to do or where to go, i need to do something.
I know mine & my mothers rea;tionsship needs to change,
i know i need to change. I know i have to stop caring.
People are stupid and drama is stupid and usuless.
I know the people that care about me, & i know i care
about the people i love. Im sick of fighting with people
i care nothing about, and im moving on without them.
I will not appoligize for the way i feel about them,
and that is my own opionion and it will not change.
People change and sometimes its bad, or good.
Jakes changed since the summer and i miss it.
Ive changed since sophomore year. We all do it.
Danas changed into the better, and is here for me
every second now, esp now when i need it the most.
Klaudias now with her boyfriend, but still is there.
Danielle hangs out with a different crowd, but when
i need her, shes there for me, i just have to call.
Scott is my sholder to cry on all the time, i know
where i need to go, when i need to let everything go.
I have the Hensons, where i go when i need to get away.
I have julie, who though we may have not known eachother
for long, everytime we hang out, its memorable, and knowing
that scotts with a good girl makes me happy for him.
Even though megs is a sophomore, i love her forever.
Shes just fun to be around & makes me laughhh.
Yolanda- will always be there, even if she changes.
Now im sorry if i dont like people, and that i say
"shit" about them, ill say it to their face.
Im sorry i dont drink alcohol or smoke weed,
its kinda of retarted and why do i need it.
Im sorry that "he" chose her over me, but
one day he will realize, i wasnt that bad.
I love the people i love, and dislike the people,
that i dislike, i can make no changes.
I know who will be there for me if i needed something.
I know everytime i cry, i know who to call.
I know that even though im not the prettiest person,
Im deffinitly not the ugliest.
Skladd said something good to me this morning, and
it made me smile and she let me know shes there <3
Im so so so happy brooke & myself are close again,
because she is a good person, & she is now relizing that.
On the other hand im not as close with the people
i used to be unseperable from, but thats okay,
because as much as i say i dont care about them i do.
Im glad people are getting to know me before they talk shit.
And unfortunatly people continue to talk shit before they know me.
But thats okay i dont need to surround myself with negative people,
or negative energy and the drama they bring into my life.
Nat told me the other day to live it up, because you know
who you have and who you dont have and i do.
I love each and every kind and respectable person,
and i will give them love and respect in return.
I love my girls to pieces, & i dont know what i would do
with out all of you there for me.
As much as i "hate" my mom, without her, i will die.
And my Nana--i honestly dont know whats going to happen.
She is my best friend, and now, shes very ill, & moving away.
...this was very clear. I needed to get every bit out.
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[30 Oct 2005|01:05am] |
i want desperatly to be thin.
my entire life ive been fat.
its really really bothering me.
before i used to not think about it.
But when all my friends have gorgeous
bodies, i look like the fat girl.
ive been my whole like being the
fat girl, and im really sick of it.
im dieting till i lost 30 pounds.
and i swear, im doing it. or else...
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[26 Oct 2005|05:44pm] |
Wow this weekend was really fun.
Minus the fact i had an emtional
pms fuckin breakdown because
im like scared to have no friends
and be all alone =(....but
seriously it was so much fun.
One of the best times i had
in a long time.
Um yah basically im trying to be friends with Michael Manoogian again.
But he needs to know how bad that he hurt me, and he really shouldnt have.
But im trying to see the good in him again, even though he did a bad thing.
So theres this younger boy,
but i really cannnot name.
But he is precious, and
never can it happen.
But im throwin it out there =)
ALSO COUSINO IS GAY--alot of girls are gay
and i cannot stand them anymore and really
want to punch them in the face, thank you.
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[16 Oct 2005|10:07am] |
Last night was alright.
Chris called and they all wanted to go to a haunted house & i was down except for the fact that yolanda and kristin didnt want to go cause they had no cash flow. So instead we go up to CJ's and nothing was open so we chilled there for a little while. Laughed @ drunk Paul and Vince and then just left. Yolanda got some food, and then i made her let me drive her car, cause she has no idea where shes going LOL. We basically drove around and I ended up @ Scotts grandmas house. I chilled with the entire fam while Scott talked with kristi and yo. @ like 11:50 we had to rush over to Julies so he could give her his sweetest day gift and i stayed in the car =)
Dana called me while i was in scotts car and i basically broke down. Honestly Ive been hurt by boys 3 times in a row and it deff sucks hard core, not gonna lie about that. There HAS to be something wrong with me cause nothing can go right at all. Besides that Nanas moving all the way to 23 mile. Ive grown up with her my ENTIRE life, and shes always been 4 doors down, where i can run to for anything. And shes not gonna be there anymore, it depresses me. Its not like shes at 16 or something shes all the fucking way at 23 =( ahhhh.
I have so much homework, well not SO MUCH. Just Gov, English, & Math.
And my grades suck cause i cant take fucking tests. WOOO.
Klaudia has a fucking boyfriend.
Whoa im happy for herm but now
we cant go pick up boys :(
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[12 Oct 2005|07:12pm] |
I think im the most retartest person in the world.
Sunday ---ha well i thought it would be sweet to climb this old tree house at my friend richies and it was dark so i went to step on a latter, the step was broken and a nail went in my leg and i got 11 stiches. My mom wasnt really comfoting. And my dad just thought i was an idiot. Thank godd klaudia was there to help me thru it.
Anways school is stressful. And i just dont like being their.
Gunkle is a bigg booty hoe, and its so mean to me :(
I think im just getting dumber by the moment.
Last night i went out with scott, he got me lost in the ghetto.
We really were supposed to go see julies basketball game but hes a fag.
On the way home i felt so sick, and i ended up barfing the entire night <3
I think its from the infection in my leg so my mom made me stay home from school.
HALLOWEENDS OCT. 22 with my girrrls.
ahhhh so much fun i cannot wait.
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[08 Oct 2005|04:02pm] |
So i just got back from this SAT workshop, and it was long and boring.
But honestly i think it helped out a little bit. Sweet mannn.
Anyways this week was really long and tiring, i worked alot.
I had so much homework & it was Brandon and Jays Birthday.
Which i couldnt miss cause their my boyyyys.
And i <3 them unconditionaly. Even though...nevermind.
The game last night was a little ridiculous,
because of course we killed them by farr.
And then we went to coney, wasnt as enjoyable.
And then i drove around with meggg.
Stopped by to holla at klo..lol.
Then went to Shanes, so meg could
be with kyle and his friends..friend ;)
Dan came to the game last night.
We barely talked, he left with yolanda.
Matt calls me to tell me she got in car accident.
No some kids just threw rocks at cars, and hers
got hit along with this really nice '06 mustang
and Nick Burns car. It actually wasnt that bad.
Um no one could take dan home so i had to.
We faught the entire way to shanes, and home.
It was a good fight though, cause it was one
of those wasnt really ones? We are always like that.
Tonight, chelseas suprise party for a little bit.
And then a haunted house which i hope i dont pee my pants.
Because i bet you money that i will =)...im reallll scared.
So i realized somethings
1) i am too judgmental
2) i get pissed for nothing
3) i know who my "true friends" really are
4) i need not to care about love.
5) i need just not to care anymore.
This kidd hurt my feelings,
made me upset, but oh well.
Hes the idiot not me.
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[30 Sep 2005|03:52pm] |
Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a drink i wanna swim with you in .
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what member of laguna beach you are like .
7. I'll ask you something that I've always pondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
Do it for me ;)
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[26 Sep 2005|02:39pm] |
So this weekend was amazing =)
Friday we went all out for pep rally. I loved our blue tights, and pep rally was really fun, even though the sophomores are cheap hoes, and people are good at eating pie, HA. ANYWAYS, yah so the game was a blow out yet again. Ryan ended up comin to the game, which was deff. a suprise to me and brought my new best friend vick <3* so precious. Um yah went to coney after with everyone and went home to crassssh.
Saturday- I woke up to go decorate the cafe, and everything turned out amazing, i was really impressed. Then i went to get my hair done, and WOW it looked unbelieveable, my hairstylist did such a good job i was so happy. Klaudia came over to do my make-up and everything turned out beautiful. I was in the bathroom freakin out cause i was so nervous for ry to come, i was gonna pee my pants. Then he came and i start crackin up because i got so nervous, it was just wierd. Took some pics, then went to Amandas where
452424242 people were, and yahh then Dave, Dana, Ry. & Me went to the Beach Grill, got a little lost but its all good =). Got there and ate, and personally i thought it was really good and it was gorgeous on the water. Then it was the dance, and we danced allll nighttt. Tri Vo and me Broke it down. Good times for surrre. After went to chelseas and it was gay for me since i didnt drink or whatever, so i left to take klaudia and linz to some mott party. Where then we went and hung out with my Centerline boyyyys <3* Deff was cracking up with jon and wayne, i couldnt control myself.
Yesterday i worked from 9am - 8pm, i was about to shoot myself in the head i was so tiiiired. But i worked with this girl Jackie who goes to mott and takes Tv @ our school and she was really fun, but by 6 i couldnt function.
but yah i gotta go take a nap
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[22 Sep 2005|05:10pm] |
* First grade teacher: mrs. Zamerowski
2* Last word you said: Bye
3* Last song you sang: dirty pop
4* Last person you hugged: sean trachita
5* Last thing you laughed at: Matt and jarred trying to find pep rally shirts
6* Last time you said I don't remember: Ah 6th hr to k lambrixxx
7* Last time you cried: Sunday
9* What color socks are you wearing: no sockkks
10* What's under your bed: too much shit
11* What time did you wake up today? 6:15
12* Current taste: ice breaker gum
13* Current hair: poney taillll
14* Current shirt: "i dig soccer" tye dye
15* Current annoyance: the float
16* Current longing: sleeeeep and food.
17* Current desktop background: Lc from laguna <3
18*Current worry: Ryan?
19* Current hate: My boss, even though i love her shes a dick
20* Current favorite article of clothing: Sweat pants =)
21* Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex: hair and smile
22* Last CD that you listened to: Love song mix
23* Favorite place to be: In Big TC
24* Least favorite place: hm the dentist
25* Time you wake up in the morning? 6:15 everyday
26* If you could play an instrument, what would it be: im learning the guitar
27* Favorite color: yellow and red
28* Do you believe in an afterlife: heaven
29* How tall are you: about 5'8"
30* Current favorite word/saying: sweet
31*Favorite book: sisterhood of the traveling pants
32* Favorite season: FALL
33* One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: my papa
*FUTURE*
34* Where do you want to live? deffinitly have a base home in chicago but have a job that travels
35* Where do you want to go for college? MSU or GrandValley
36* What is your career going to be like: business communications/ journalism
37* How many kids do you want: 2 or 3
38* Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? all over
*HAVE YOU EVER...*
39* Said "I love you" and meant it: to my mom
40* Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish: me and jack wrestle
41* Been to New York: no
42* Been to Florida:yes
43* Been to California: yes
44* Been to Hawaii: no
45*Been to Mexico: yah
46* Been to China: no
47* Been to England: no
48* Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: um no
52* Do you have a crush on someone: ...yess
53* What book are you reading now? sisterhood of the traveling pants 2
54. Worst feeling in the world: being lonely
55* What is the first thing you think when you wake in the
morning? go pee
56* How many rings before you answer: 2
57* Future daughter's name: hayden
58* Future son's name: logan
59* Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: bear
60* If you could have any job you wanted: i would be a actress
61* Wish you were somewhere: Cali
62* Musical artist you hate: MIKE JONES
64* Do you do drugs: never have never will
65* Do you drink: i used too, i try not to now
67* What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use? Vive
68* What are you most scared of: never falling in love and death
69* What clothes do you sleep in: basketball shorts and a big tee
70* Who is the last person that called you: my madre
71* Where do you want to get married: a beach
72* If you could change anything about yourself what would that be: id be a skiiny built girl
73* Who do you really hate: ha this sophomore slut.
74* Been In Love: noo
75* Are you timely or always late: timely
76* Do you have a job: SUBWAY= EAT FRESH
77* Do you like being around people: love it
78* Best feeling in the world: feeling wanted
79* Are you for world peace: yess
80* Are you a health freak: not really
81* Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: nice guys
82* Do you want someone you can't have?: heck yah
83* Are you lonely right now: yah
84* Ever afraid you'll never get married: yahhh
85* Do you want to get married: when im settled
86* Do you want kids? when it comes the point in my life
*IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...*
87* Cried: no
88* Bought Something: yahh
89* Gotten Sick: yahh
90* Sang: every minute
91* Said I Love You: dadddy
92* Wanted To Tell Someone You Liked/loved them: no
93* Met Someone: no
94* Moved On: yes
95* Talked To Someone: yahh
96* Had A Serious Talk: with my mom
97* Missed Someone: i know he knows i miss him
98* Hugged Someone: seannny
99* Yelled at Someone: Ha JUNIOR COUNCIL
100* Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: nooo.
TOMORROW IT ALL BEGINS!
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[18 Sep 2005|07:42pm] |
I think i have this cold thats overcoming my body. Blahhhhhhhh.
This weekend wasnt as cool as i thought it was gonna be.
The boys won of Friday, BLOWOUT, & then i went to the fair.
Really i got a carmel apple walked around and left, was gay.
Saturday me and klo went to Mirandas Bday BBQ, and it was cute.
I miss Miran,ZZ,& Julie alot, and it was good to catch up a lil.
Then i went to klaudias and fell asleep, woke up and got dana.
We went to the fair and ate, and the food was soo goood.
Um i saw a lot of people, and i guess it was alright just
not a "blast". After we went back to mirandas to talk to her.
Then we met the Sterling boys at coney, and came back to my house.
Klaudia spent the night and took over my bed, fucking bitch <3
I woke up and of course faught with my mother, cause its a ritual.
Then me and klo klo went to the mall and spent $43 @ MAC.
I got 2 eye shadows, and lipgloss, i was pissssed.
Then i got black gloves for my dress =) So hawtttt.
Visited Dana at work & Trevor gave us a gooood deal.
After spending all weekend with klo klo we said out "good byes"
for the week, that might sound gay but seriously, we hang out
all weekend, and then dont talk during school. Its lame.
My head feels like its gonna exploddddde.
And i want chicken lemon rice soup. Ahhh
This week is gonna be Crazy, spirit weeks are the best.
ALways so much fun, cant wait for that pirate day..HOLLAH.
And then friday and saturday are gonna be so much fun.
Im gonna go take some nyquill and go to bedddddd.
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[15 Sep 2005|09:47pm] |
I hate junior year, and already want it to end.
Today i had 2 tests, one in Ap Gov, and then in Gunk.
Okay Gunkle lets give me the hardest test of my life
the 3rd week of school, thats reallll cool. NOT!
The Gov test was okay? Um i pray for a B?
Yah the rest of the day was fine,
i looked hot, haha scrubbed out badly <3
I hate how immature some people are
in our school, i want to just go up
to them and say " Please GROW UP!"
Got my HC tickets ;) anddd we changed the place where we are eating. We're goin to St. Clair Shores, Beach Grill, which sits directly on the water, HOLLAH. So how excited am i for homecoming this year? I am PUMPED for sure. Spirit weeks next week but i ahh need to find some pirate and camo apparal, so hittin up the mall for sure saturday.
Then you know football game tomorrow,
and SAUSAUGE FEST sat night, hell yahhhhh.
( im starting to sound like skladd.)
But everyone adores sausauge fest,
it just puts you in the mood.
And i would like to say Haunted Houses and Cidar Mills are open :)
Anyone up to going sunday to a cidar mill to chill in the boonies? <3
Yesterday klo klo and i met for spring break,
holy shit i cannot wait for senior year,
and possibly an '06 break, gotta convinece
Don & Arleen, but i cant make it happen ;)
I love when im in a good mood.
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[13 Sep 2005|09:57pm] |
dannyg96: clap off lights wen ur gettin affection,clap on lights wen ur findin protection
He is the biggest fagggot. But i found it funny?
Anyways, i found a date, Ryan (aka Janelles next door neighbor),
and i totally forgot about him, then i remembered and he said
of course, so now i wont be lookin like a fool, and plus he is
so much fun, and we are gonna look hottt.
Sausage Fest is this weekend <33
Its about to be my favorite weekend everrr.
Plus Football Game Friday, Plus I love it.
+ skladd already is counting the days.
Um im sick of people walking all over me.
Im not gonna be nice forever, and let you
just be rude to me all the time and let you
run off, uhhh
later gator
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[09 Sep 2005|03:24pm] |
I cant even begin to descibe how alone i feel.
Im not going to homecoming , i have no date.
Matt decided to be cool and ditch me for a fresh.
All my friends have dates, and i sit all alone..AGAIN.
The only good thing about my life lately,
is that im losing weight, not that any of
you have noticed, im trying really hard.
Also Dana has been there for me so much,
Alot more the usual, and i love that.
I barely see klauida, except for the weekend =(
And i miss her like crazy, cause shes my fuckin girrl.
I must be the ugliest girl in my whole fucking
school not to have one person ask me,
just makes me sad.
Also Darin got in a car accident last week,
i went to see him on Tuesday, hes messed up.
How stupid can people be to drink and drive.
Cant you please just have a designated driver.
Why do you think its okay to do stupid shit.
It made me so mad, cause one of the greatest
person ive ever met, is seriously hurt now
because of stupid people that cant think.
Everything happens for a reason,
as much as i say i live by it,
im doubting the truth of that everday.
I miss Jay and Brandon, like we used to be family.
I saw them almost everyday in the summer, even if
it wasnt for a really long time, at least they would call.
Now we like talk once every two weeks. Its really sad.
I would go to the hensons to keep me out of trouble.
Because the things that were so important to me before
didnt seem to matter, but now i miss them.
I know i sound like this HUGE DEPRESSED FREAK,
but this is the only thing that i cant really
vent into, and i let you read it.
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[05 Sep 2005|02:40pm] |
So today i went shopping for "the dress" @ Great Lakes with Nana and Klo Klo, andd i went to Group Usa and tried on 20 dresses and didnt really care for any of them, so i was getting pissed. Then i went to Widsor and Nana brought me this dress, im sure all you girls have seen it. Its white cake layer dress with black trim and a train, origianlly $348.50, and it was marked down cause the train was a little dirty but it was on clearence rack and i got it for $21.18 bitches 8-) HOLLAH. I was so excited it made my entire month. And my precious date puts it all together, Matthew Wagner. I told all you soccer girls he was the love of my life and we were marrying ;) Even though im slightly scared because i am a monster compared to him, haha.
Tonight is Jades Birthday Din Din @ Bahama Breeze, never been there but always wanted to go, so that also makes my day.
Maybe this week will just be fabulous?
lets hoppppe <3
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[03 Sep 2005|10:12am] |
Well the first week of school went okay.
My teachers are okay for the most part.
I absoultly love junior council <3*
Im pissed because our homecoming is
SO EARLY this year, and i have no
dress, no date, and i dont know
what the hell im gonna do. BLAH.
Um yesterday i went with Klaudia and Mike to this De Lasalle parrty at this girls house for a "double birthday" party thing, and it was so cute. She has the cutest house and the she is the nicest girl everrr. And her and freddy have been together for 3 and a half years, and there our age. Okay people think its cool to last a year, but 3 and a half years, thats like love. And not that it matters but they both havent had sex, which is like sooo good. And then their parents were there and they are like adorable, and someday i want a relationship like they have.
Ahh I gotta go work at subway now.
peacccce nuckkkkka <3
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